My Snuggler

So I feel like the concept of children sleeping in the bed with parents is a very controversial one. I think parents that don’t care for it feel the need to disapprove of anyone that does it. Because of this, parents that do it always lament about it. I’ve very rarely met people that think it’s not a big deal.

Let me clarify, I don’t mean that every night the child goes to bed in their parents bed. That they have no bed of their own and have no practice sleeping on their own. Not that I think this is bad, I just have to wonder about how much privacy the parents get for “other” activities. I mean those situations where your child wakes up in the middle of the night and you either bring them into your bed or they toddle their way to mommy and daddy’s bed.

When Z first came home from the hospital, J and I set up a pillow between us and Z slept on this pillow for the first 4 to 6 weeks of his life. Eventually, he moved to the bassinet near my side of the bed. Silly of us, we bought a co-sleeper AFTER he had no space to move in the bassinet. He slept in our room until he was about 9 months. Often, when he would get fussy, I would pull him into the bed. Even times when we felt it was really cold, we would bring him between us and snuggle close to him. My son is a snuggler. He is the most content and happy snuggling. Even now at the age of 2.

When we moved him to his crib, our hearts broke. We knew he needed to get use to his own room and bed. We needed time to be able to relax in our room before we went to bed and he needed to get more sleep then what we got. Still, halfway through the night I walk over to his room, half asleep, and bring him into our bed.

Now, I do want to say, J and I have an ability that allows for us to do this easily. We can sleep anywhere, anytime, in most positions. We can go back to sleep easily as well. Unlike J, I can wake up easily if I know it’s for a few minutes. Some people cannot sleep with their children in the bed. Most children sleep fitfully which really affects the parents sleep. J and I are so comfortable at this point with a family bed, we bought ourselves a King size bed when we moved into our new home. There is so much space in that bed that we’ve woken up to find Z literally horizontal between us.
Yes, Z still comes to our room in the middle of the night. And once we move him to the toddler bed, I expect he’ll walk over on his own. I get something from this experience though. Yesterday I listened to his heartbeat as he slept. I remember listening to his heartbeat when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I don’t think the concept that he once lived in me and is now a walking, breathing (terror) child, will ever feel like anything less then a miracle. As far as J, every time I bring him into our bed, J turns toward him to snuggle, I snuggle in next to him, and we bought hold on to him like he’s the most precious thing ever. Well, I guess because he is.