Uneventful Exhaustion

So the giddy excitement is calming and that has brought on the exhaustion. I just want to sleep a lot. I can take a two hour nap and still go to bed by 10pm. It’s a great thing J is on the same schedule as me and makes me turn the lights out by then anyway.

Everyone tells me that it’ll go by fast. That I’ll be popping out and being “pregnant” before I know it. But the truth is right now it’s pretty uneventful. The exhaustion and the bloating belly is the only thing I really have right now. Granted, I’ve started to buy maternity clothes (thanks to the bloating belly) but it’s not like I look like I’m pregnant or anything yet. Because of that, there’s not much to report. Nothing else is going on in my head since this is big enough to keep my mind occupied for the most part. So in turn, I have nothing to update or blog about.

One of the things I do think about is how J is going to react the first time he hears the heartbeat. In so many ways, I feel almost sorry for him. This is his child just as much as it is mine. And though I don’t feel tons, I feel something. To him, it’s just an elusive thought. To him, it’s a responsibility right now still. I can’t wait to share this baby with him more. I can’t wait to watch and see him realize that this is really a part of him already.

When someone asked me how I knew, besides loving him, that he was the man I should marry. I tell them I knew what a great father he would be and knew that I had to make sure to hold on. There’s this peaceful and patient quality to his personality. What’s odd is that it doesn’t make him any less happy and fun. In fact, it feeds into it. I know at times he’s skeptical of my belief in his parenting abilities. But it’s there. I think anyone that spends any amount of time with him can see it. And no matter how good a mother I think I might be able to be (and let’s be honest, I would never have tried to have kids if I didn’t think I could be a good enough mother), I honestly think he might actually be a better father.