Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Uneventful Exhaustion

So the giddy excitement is calming and that has brought on the exhaustion. I just want to sleep a lot. I can take a two hour nap and still go to bed by 10pm. It’s a great thing J is on the same schedule as me and makes me turn the lights out by then anyway.

Everyone tells me that it’ll go by fast. That I’ll be popping out and being “pregnant” before I know it. But the truth is right now it’s pretty uneventful. The exhaustion and the bloating belly is the only thing I really have right now. Granted, I’ve started to buy maternity clothes (thanks to the bloating belly) but it’s not like I look like I’m pregnant or anything yet. Because of that, there’s not much to report. Nothing else is going on in my head since this is big enough to keep my mind occupied for the most part. So in turn, I have nothing to update or blog about.

One of the things I do think about is how J is going to react the first time he hears the heartbeat. In so many ways, I feel almost sorry for him. This is his child just as much as it is mine. And though I don’t feel tons, I feel something. To him, it’s just an elusive thought. To him, it’s a responsibility right now still. I can’t wait to share this baby with him more. I can’t wait to watch and see him realize that this is really a part of him already.

When someone asked me how I knew, besides loving him, that he was the man I should marry. I tell them I knew what a great father he would be and knew that I had to make sure to hold on. There’s this peaceful and patient quality to his personality. What’s odd is that it doesn’t make him any less happy and fun. In fact, it feeds into it. I know at times he’s skeptical of my belief in his parenting abilities. But it’s there. I think anyone that spends any amount of time with him can see it. And no matter how good a mother I think I might be able to be (and let’s be honest, I would never have tried to have kids if I didn’t think I could be a good enough mother), I honestly think he might actually be a better father.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aww, Mina. I'm so excited for you -- for two reasons!

1) You get to experience this amazing journey and join the club of motherhood. Yes, all "moms" can join it including adopting and step-moms. However, you get to join the special subsect of "I-became-pregnant-and-endured-the-most-trying-9-months-of-my-life" club. And it's a great club. No lies, no jokes. It's awesome. Even when it sucks. :)

2) I get to experience it vicariously instead of actually GOING THROUGH IT again. Which since I still remember how much it sucked, I really don't want to do. :P

9:02 PM  
Blogger Kristie (J) said...

I think that's one of the perks about being pregnant - the ability to sleep *g*. And that's one of the blessings/curses of being pregnant. We pretty much go through the physical things all by ourselves, the up and down emotions, the first time we feel the baby. It's a unique experience. And what great comfort that you know that J will be an excellent father.

8:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! I can't believe you are pregnant! That's so exciting....I try to remember the early days of the pregnancy (i.e. the first heartbeat, the first time I felt her move, etc.) and I realize that now that she's here, I don't think of it much! I forget about any morning sickness, any grouchiness, any of the stuff that made me absolutely-freaking-miserable....none of it makes a difference now that I have her. Just enjoy the good moments of the pregnancy and your child will be here before you know it! :)

11:41 PM  

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